Let It Go

I was thinking one day about all the people I wish I could say things to if I had the chance...and I was mad that those chances weren't happening because of them. My sister hates me and refuses to speak to me, my ex-boyfriend who I hurt badly and I want to apologize to him...he refuses to hear it...
My friend told me one day as I was explaining my frustration that the circumstances relating to those situations are not my fault. For instance, the fact that my sister wont give me the time of day, although I am involved in it, are not my fault but are a result of my sister's own hurt and emotional pain in the things that have happened in her life to lead to her not talking to me. It is her own issues that have made it hard for her to deal with things and the way SHE is reacts is not on me and is not for me to carry. I thought out of everyone who has ever given me advice, this made the most sense to me. It lifted that weight and I feel so much better.
So out this experience, a poem was born. The first part is me, and the second is God. Enjoy ;)

Holding onto the poison slowly killing me inside,
When will I let go of it; get it off of my mind?
What is it that makes me hold on? I'm running out of time.
It wont be long before it kills me and Lord, I don't want to die.

Take me by the hand and lead me away from this place,
It's dark and it's keeping me from fully seeing your face.
Take me to the water, where it's crystal clear and blue,
I'll drink deep of your love and grace, as long as I am with you.

This burdon is too heavy for me, I need to let it go.
It wasn't even mine to carry, so help me let it go.
Help me let it go, help me let it go.



Holding onto the poison slowly killing you inside,
When will you let go of it; get it off of your mind?
What is it that makes you hold on? You're running out of time.
It wont be long before it kills you and no, you don't want to die.

I'll take you by the hand and lead you away from this place,
It's dark and it's keeping you from fully seeing my face.
I'll take you to the water, where it's crystal clear and blue,
Drink deep of my love and grace, and then I'll be here with you.

This burdon is too heavy for you, you need to let it go.
It wasn't even yours to carry, so I'll help you let it go.
I'll help you let it go, I'll help you let it go.

-Erin

Update on the Moldova situation:
Remember those missionaries who live in Moldova? Well they just happen to be here...in Calgary and through my friend we arranged to have dinner with them. Dinner was tonight and my heart is encouraged!
I spoke with them and learned about what kind of things they do and life in Moldova etc. and now I know 100% that I have to go...and I know that God is making it happen.
I didn't even bring up my passion about sex trafficking but Jake (the male missionary) just started talking about his friend in Moldova who runs an organization called "Beginnings of Life" who specifically works to rescue women and children who have been trafficked from Moldova. And it just so happens that Moldova is the sex trafficking capitol. Not a good reputation but it is just very clear to me that I belong there. And so then I brought it up and told him how that is the stuff I want to be involved in. Unfortunately at the moment the organization is not getting enough funding to pay the people that work for them but the fact that it is happening is fantastic. So Jake said he would try and get me contacted with those people.
And so God is opening one door after another and I feel nothing but extreme peace about everything. NONE OF IT IS COINCIDENCE!! NONE OF IT!! I wasn't sure what good meeting the missionaries would do except to learn about the culture of Moldova (and indeed I learned) but it didn't take long for it to be revealed to me that meeting them and learning from them would not only be a very valuable asset and stepping stone, but also to gain connections to the heart of where I want to be. Never have I ever felt like this adventure is for real...and it's for me to do what God wants me to do. Remember also how I said that loving comes naturally and this is part of what I am called to do? Well Jake said that what they did over there was just love the people because that is all they wanted. And you know what? They didn't preach to them...they just loved them and so many have come to Christ because of their LOVE. That is exactly what Jesus wanted. And I am honored to be chosen to carry on that mission.
You guys get to sit and read about how this is developing. Isn't it exciting?? Watch how God is working. How he is opening doors and opportunity's. It's proof that if you are open to it, it will happen.
I have so much more to say but not enough time to type it. Maybe if you call me and set up a date...I'll tell you more! LOL.