This is ME

I want to say that I have been to some unknown tropical island in the middle of the ocean. I want to sing my heart out and not care who is listening. I want to be free to go anywhere whenever I want to. I want to have free evenings along with my weekends in my cell phone plan. I want to lay hands on people and see them become well with my very eyes. I want to lead just ONE person to Christ. I want to see Jesus in person. I want to meet John Mayer. I want to go somewhere romantic and beautiful with Damien. I want Damien to do something completely out of character but wonderful. I want Damien to make love to me under the stars. I want Damien to tell the world how wonderful and beautiful he thinks I am. I want Athaliah to grow up knowing that Jesus loves her more than her parents do. I want to master my Bass guitar. I want to record an album. I want to learn Arabic. I want to speak in an assembly of Jr. High students. I want to dress up completely gothic and preach the gospel just to see people’s expressions. I want to tell Athaliah that she CAN do whatever she wants in life until she is old and grey. I want to be the best mother that I can be. I want to change my appearance at the drop of a hat. I want to wear wigs more often. I want to figure out what make-up looks best on me. I want to learn how to create meshes and things for The Sims 2. I want to brush my teeth more. I want to care about sad things in the news. I want to wear my wedding dress again for a whole day. I want to go sledding down the hill I used to go down as a child. I want to find my friend Celeste from grade 4. I want to play the piano.
My favorite food is Pizza with extra cheese. My favorite colour is purple and red. My favorite game is Balderdash. My favorite movie is The Notebook. My favorite actors are Ryan Gosling and Dustin Hoffman. My favorite day is December 7th because that’s when Athaliah was born. My favorite thing to do is write songs and poetry. My favorite music is anything by Josh Groban and John Mayer. I love red roses. I love the smell of Vanilla candles because it reminds me of my childhood. I love Christmas lights but not Christmas. I love to give if I have anything to give. I love to spoil Athaliah with clothes and kisses. I love the story of The Little Mermaid. I love softly falling snow with no wind. I love to fill the car with gas because I love the smell of the gas station. I love east Indians and Arabs because they fascinate me. I love babies of all kinds. I love photography. My favorite picture of all time is a famous painting of Jesus. I love stained glass. I love the Victorian and Medieval era. I love to dress up. I love Diamonds more than Ruby’s and other jewels. I love to watch Sesame Street because Elmo is so darn cute. My favorite place to eat is the Crepery in Kensington. I can never get enough of the song “These Words” by Natasha Beddingfield. I love my brother so much it aches. I love to spend time with my Grandma because she is all I have left. I love watching Athaliah when she thinks no one is watching her. I love the smell of cinnamon. I love cheesecake. I love looking at people’s eyes. I like to stare at people when they walk past me. I like telling people that I think they are beautiful. I love Perez Hilton even though he is gay. I love The Chronicles of Narnia. I love shopping. My favorite plant is a Venus Fly trap. My favorite insect is a Ladybug. My favorite type of car is Volkswagen because it reminds me of my sister. My favorite doll is a porcelain doll named “Kathy”. I love my skin. I love my hair when it is done. I love to wear my glasses sometimes. I love to look in the mirror. I love to watch Damien sleep. I love Damien. I love having my picture taken.
I hate when people don’t listen. I hate when people talk about themselves more than anything else. I hate when people talk about me behind my back. I hate when people don’t tell the truth. I hate when people talk as if they understand Jesus but have no clue who he is. I hate when people say they have talked with Jesus but he’s “not for them” after all. I hate when I am rejected from anything. I hate when Rogers Video calls me to tell me my movies are late as if I had no idea. I hate telemarketers that wake up my baby who WAS sleeping. I hate being woken up in the morning. I hate school. I hate that the people who made fun of me growing up are no further in life than they were back then. I hate that sometimes good people die and bad people live happily. I hate that homelessness exists. I hate that people abuse their children. I hate that people care about nothing but themselves when they drive. I hate that strangers are afraid to talk to each other like they have the plague. I hate Strawberries and Blueberries because they make me barf. I don’t like birds. I don’t like long trips in the car. I don’t like Football. I don’t like any sport because I was rejected from every team growing up. I hate cigarette smoke because it gave my Dad cancer twice and he is still smoking. I don’t like being called on the phone more than once in one day by the same person unless there is a valid reason.

This is me. Hate me, love me or don't decide... but there should be no surprises anymore. I am who I am and I no longer care who thinks I should be different. This post was inspired by my best friend Nikayla who posted a similar note on Facebook. It totally made me think about who I am.